Dynamite Breakfast!

July 30, 2008

My lovely and talented wife just called me to breakfast and I just HAD to share a picture.

Great Breakfast!

Great Breakfast!

“Say, what’s your name?” the bartender asked the first duck.
“Huey,” was the reply.
“How’s your day been, Huey?”
“Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?” said Huey.
“Oh. That’s nice,” said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, “Hi,
and what’s your name?”
“Dewey,” came the answer from duck number two.
“So how’s your day been, Dewey! ?” he asked.
“Great. Lovely day. I’ve had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?”
The bartender turned to the third duck and said, “So, you must be Louie?”
“No,” she said, batting her eyelashes. “My name is Puddles.”

New Audiobook File!

July 20, 2008

I just finished recording an audio short story that some of you may have read. If you’ll click the “My Stories” tab and scroll down to “Tinker’s Damn”, you can download and listen to that tale as an MP3.

I would love some feedback as this is a test to see if my fans might like some of my longer stories as audiobooks.

Been Busy!

July 17, 2008

This past weekend, I was visiting friends in State College, PA. We drove around a bit and I got a few pictures to share. Here’s the link to just a few of them.

We also went to see Hellboy II and it was a lot of fun. Although the first one had a bit of comedy, this one had a lot more. I’m looking forward to the DVD so I can take a closer look at some the great stuff that was going on in the background. I’d give it a big thumb’s up!

In writing news, the last round of edits are done for Guardian Dawn and it is on schedule for release on August 4th. Guardian Noon will be the next installment in the Common Ground series.

I’ve been asked for more details on Common Ground and realized it deserves more than a quick response. With that in mind, I’m writing a more detailed description and will be sharing it soon.

Currently Reading: “Turning Point” by Lisanne Norman

Actually, I’m rereading this. I first read it several years ago and recall enjoying the entire series. If you are interested in cat-people, first-contact stories and the possibilities of inter-species mating, then I would recommend it.

Guardian Dawn Prequel

July 7, 2008

One of the lead characters in “Guardian Dawn” is a fellow by the name of Harry Watson. The following tale takes place a few years prior to the start of the novel.

Fired!

Harry was exhausted after two weeks of overtime, and now he had to wait for the boss. He was supposed to be relaxing over dinner, and laughing with his wife and daughter.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Mr. Watson.”

“No problem, sir. What’s up?”

“There’s no easy way to say this, but we’ve been ordered to downsize and your position is on the list. I arranged for a month’s severance, but today is your last day.”

“But… But…My mortgage is already four months late, we’ve no insurance, my wife was laid off six months ago and this is the only job-”

The manager could only shake his head.

Harry was used to listening to the radio, but wasn’t paying attention when it reported the gas line explosion. The news didn’t seem relevant until he turned the corner and saw the emergency vehicles blocking his street.

He stood on the sidewalk and screamed denial while the firemen held him back.

Five years later, Harry limped out of a capitol hill pub, almost broke and tired of listening to politicians mutter platitudes. It was almost sundown on a hot summer evening and he needed to walk and clear his head. That is when he noticed the raven, perched on the museum fence.

“Take care, friend.”

He stopped and stared at the garrulous bird. “Excuse me?”

“I said take care. There’s evil ahead.”

Harry was sure it had to be one beer too many. He nodded at the bird, gave it a polite thank you and continued on his way.

A woman with two small children crossed the street. Just as they got to his curb, a guy on a bicycle swerved, grabbed the woman’s purse and spun her to the ground. Harry didn’t stop to think, he jumped in front of the cyclist and punched him hard in the ribs.

After profuse thanks and dozens of questions from the cops, he was free to go. But where? For the first time in years, he felt useful again. When no one was looking, he slipped between some bushes and sat on a metal grating that felt like home.

When he looked up, the big black bird was still on the fence. “Thanks for the tip. My name’s Harry. What’s your’s?”

“Raven.”

“Well now Raven, do you mind if I stick around and help you watch things for awhile?”

“We don’t just watch, Harry. We’re Guardians.”

Look for “Guardian Dawn” to be released on August 4th.

New Words!

July 1, 2008

The Washington Post‘s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a ‘real’ word.

Here are this year’s winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozonelayer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

10. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s, like, a serious bummer.

11. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

12. Glibido: All talk and no action.

13. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

14. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

And the #1 pick:

17. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.